Perfectionism is Insecurity with Lipstick On-How to Give Yourself a Makeover
The other day while reading, I came across the statement, “Perfectionism is insecurity with lipstick on.” It made me chuckle, pause, and got me thinking…
I so used to wear an unflattering shade of “Insecurity“ lipstick! I owned it (snap, snap), and walked…okay, tripped on…life’s catwalk. I fully believed my inner critic’s (my designer diva’s) repetitive negative comments of, “You are not good enough” and ”Mistakes are bad.”
How about for you? Where in your life have you worn an unflattering “Insecurity” shade of lipstick; or felt the brand “Perfectionism” was the only designer label you would wear?
Perfectionism stems from wanting to feel in control, and/or to be liked, loved, and accepted. It can lead to a fear of disapproval, a need to seek approval, and a lack of trust. It can cause us to be overly critical and have unrealistic standards. We end up seeing failure in anything short of absolute perfection (which does not exist). This mindset impacts our quality of life, relationships, and work. It leads to unhappiness, insecurity, depression, and anxiety.
So what can you do to make over your inner perfectionista? Try these four tips:
1) Set Your Intension. Visualize what you want to accomplish and feel it. How would it feel, what would you see, how would you be? Let go of the expected outcome and trust it will work out. Letting go builds trust and confidence, helps you to be more creative, and open to new possibilities.
2) Awareness. Mindfulness can help you tune in to what your inner critic is negatively repeating and notice how it is causing you to feel insecure or fearful of making mistakes.
Once you are aware of the thoughts; notice and name the feelings associated with those thoughts. Also observe where and how those feelings show up in your body. Next, ask what memory is associated with the thoughts and feelings. It is important to do this from a place of nonjudgmental curiosity, and a willingness to hold space for the thoughts, emotions, and memories that come up.
3) Resistance Check. Take a moment to check in with your inner designer diva. Notice if there is any resistance coming up around your intension? If yes, be curious, explore, and gently challenge the fear and negative messages that are coming up. This will help lower the resistance and help you move forward.
4) Take Action. What’s one small step you could take towards your intension, even if imperfect? Then do it, celebrate, and repeat. Small steps make it easier to continue, and celebrating is fun. Be sure to take time to enjoy the process and see success in moving forward towards your intentions. It is the process of being, becoming, and doing that can lead to even more positive possibilities and opportunities.
There will be times when the resistance kicks back in. It is ok; just know you have the tools to work through it and to keep moving forward.
If you want a more joyful, creative, and colorful life, follow these steps to make over your inner perfectionista. As I made over my inner perfectionista...I switched to a flattering shade of “I am Enough” lipsticks. I even started a new “Self Love” ready-to-wear collection titled, “Imperfect is Fun.” Gotta tell y’all...I’m loving my makeover, y’all!
Here is to your authentic beautiful self, inside and out!
(Original Article: Gig Harbor Living Local Magazine, August 2021)