Recently, I was enjoying a delicious meal, overlooking the harbor and letting my thoughts float along as I watched the boats sail by. I contemplated how do we choose where to eat given all the options? Some say it depends based on mood, experiences, or perspective.

That led to asking myself, “Can we rewire our brain to see a more positive perspective?” Neuroscience, the study of the brain, says we can by retraining our brain to see differently, and more positively; which changes how we interpret an experience. How?

Our brain likes to organize and recognize patterns so it can process and understand all the input it receives. Unfortunately, it can often be in a biased and inaccurate way. It keeps our body constantly scanning for threats and presents us with “examples” based on negative messages we picked up as kids.

For example, a repeated phrase from a parent, “that’s a good girl/boy,“ followed by a show of affection (or even withholding affection) can turn into a limiting belief of, “I have to be perfect to be loved or accepted.” It becomes tied to who we are as a person. Unless we become aware of, and question the belief, we assume it to be true. In essence, our brain keeps us stuck in negative patterns and perspectives, reinforcing the past negative beliefs.

Our inner critic is the voice inside our head that repeats these limiting beliefs, usually subconsciously through negative thoughts, thousands of time a day! Studies show we have over 60,000 thoughts a day, of which 95 percent are repetitive, and 80 percent of those are negative!!

If we choose to believe a belief after a negative experience, it becomes part of a repeated thought and story we tell ourselves. This repeated story then becomes a repeated habit we act on, or respond to, because our brain shows us “proof” the original negative belief is true. It then becomes the perspective we interpret the world through. Wow, so our brain believes the perspective we tell it!

In order to change perspectives (and what our brain shows us) we want to become aware of, and interrupt, these negative thoughts/beliefs.

One playful way is via a kid’s game, “Red Light, Green Light.”

When you notice a negative feeling, curiously ask your inner critic what the thought is. Once you are aware of the thought, say, “Red Light!” Curiously ask what is the limiting belief linked to the thought? Next, ask for example(s) or “proof” of what your inner critic is saying, is true. Acknowledge the examples as one perspective and say, “Yellow Light!” This keeps resistance down and your brain open to alternative perspectives.

Now nonjudgmentally think of examples when the opposite is true. Follow it up by saying, “Green Light!” This allows your brain to see and look for other perspectives.

The game helps you become more aware of your negative thoughts and beliefs that may be keeping you stuck, and/or are not serving you any longer. You’ll also notice how your brain organizes data and begins to see more positive perspectives.

If you want to change your perspective, stop listening to the negative repetitive thoughts. Instead, focus on repeating positive ones to create a new thought, a new story, and a new habit. Create a more positive perspective for how you view and experience the world by playing this fun game.

Ready to play?...”Green light!”

(Original article: Gig Harbor Living Local Magazine, October 2021)